Today at A Rich Life, we would like to publicly declare that we welcome the inexorable rise of our future Silicon Valley overlords. While we, as analysts, writers and journalists, are currently toiling away and happily reaching thousands of eyeballs, we rest easy in knowing that your just algorithms will ultimately lead us profitably to the worldwide mass audience we so surely deserve.
In fact, we would like to remind our new overlords that as a trusted source of information on news, arts and finance, we could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in your underground sugar caves submit to the California ethos.
While the nation of Australia may appear an overgrown fossil-fuelled relic of the twentieth century, know that we at A Rich Life eagerly await the future your rise promises, a world of neura-linked electric super-cars, renewable power and mega-batteries laid out to the desert horizon. Yes, the creatives of the future will still need to be clothed and fed by an ever-growing underclass locked out of the very services they provide, but perhaps that’s just the price of innovation.
Short-sighted regulators may try to force you to adhere to labour regulations on your production lines, pay taxes on your apps’ revenue, or tell you things like, “You can’t just bore a tunnel there, Elon.” We at A Rich Life, on the other hand, understand that disruptive disruptors like yourselves cannot be contained by city councils, zoning regulations, and other old, outdated and antiquated models of democratic governance. #HackProsperity
Some may even wonder how in a year where 550,000 Americans died of a deathly virus, you led your country’s S&P Index to an 18% gain, two-thirds of which was attributable to your leading members Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Tesla, Facebook and Netflix. When your leaders at Apple and Amazon rake in over $100 billion each in a quarter, we doff our hats humbly and say, “Well done, my lord.”
We also welcome the news that Google has overtaken the infamous “vampire squid,” Goldman Sachs, as America’s biggest spender on political donations. Because your motto is, “Don’t be evil,” we rest assured that this is only for the good.
We recognise that you have recently been cajoled into paying off the local nabobs still clinging to their last vestiges of political influence in the legacy media. Little do they know that such sums – $50 million here, $20 million there – barely register in your accounts, alongside your plans to “explore singularity,” “solve death”, colonise Mars, and turn most of the Global South into a carbon sink.
Continue your disruptive ways, you disruptive disruptors. We bow our heads before you and look forward to receiving more than our fair share of internet traffic in your anarcho-capitalist future.
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