Three Laughable Covid-19 Takes

Following our coverage of the lunacy that is the Plandemic video, A Rich Life decided to dig a little deeper into the Covid-19 conspiracies so that you don’t have to. From Middle America to the Middle East, here are three disastrously bad Covid-19 takes.

The Top 3 Coronavirus Conspiracies

  1. “Zionists did it”

It’s all a cover, you see. Zionists are using the pandemic to spread a vaccine targeting Muslims (with Bill Gates’ help, of course). And that vaccine is going to deactivate the “God gene” so as to eliminate Islam from the Middle East! It’s all part of a nefarious plan hatched in the Pentagon in 2005.

The biggest players in the “Zionists did it” infosphere are the Arab world’s autocratic governments. Egypt, for instance, called coronavirus a dastardly American and Israeli plot, thankfully thwarted by Egyptian scientists who now have a cure for coronavirus that they may share with other countries. The achievement follows on the back of their invention of an ingenious hand-held device that cures AIDS and hepatitis.

Revolutionary Egyptian device cures AIDS *facepalm*
  1. “God in the sky is real mad”

This story is big in the Americas. Leftist president of Nicaragua Daniel Ortega, whose country is reportedly relatively less affected by coronavirus, said the pandemic in the US is God’s form of anti-imperial retribution.

“These transnational forces that just want to take control of the planet, that is a sin,” Ortega said. “And the Lord is sending us this signal.” Pope Francis was right: God is a communist.

But not if you listen to Ralph Drollinger, the pastor who runs bible study in the Trump White House. He predictably blamed homosexuality for God’s wrath upon America. Less predictably, he also blamed environmentalists: “Mankind is separate, special and superior as it relates to all God has made,” said the pastor. But now, “The abandoned serve the creature rather than the creator.”

Reference: capmin dot org backslash is-god-judging-america-today

(we do not wish to link to the website)

  1. “There is no coronavirus”

Last but not least, the meta-level approach: it’s all a con. This one is part alt-right, part alt-medicine. Less people have died this year than average. Maybe a few dozen. 

It’s all fake news to cover up Obama’s failures during swine flu. You actually can’t catch viruses because they’re not contagious; they can only be injected (see Plandemic). If only we fasted and were allowed outside to have sunlight, everything would be fine.

Or better yet, imagine if the sunlight was inside the body.